The Last Attempt.

Dotun is staring at the river. The water looks cold. No, freezing. He had intentionally picked this day. The weatherman had predicted a very cold night."very convenient" he thinks to himself.
Dotun glances around to check if anyone was in sight and sees no one. Its already 2am in the night and this is much expected.
That phone call had changed his life. The caller had asked; 'Do you know a Miss Seyi Lawal?'
'Yes' He had answered 'how can i help you?'
'I'm very sorry to tell you sir, but her body was found on the University Road last night.' the caller paused
'a stray bullet hit her'
His head had spun fast
'are you there sir?'
'Yes' He answered weakly
'We would like you to come and identify her body. It has been taken to Tejuosho Morgue'

He had dropped the call and wept. Wept for all he had lost. Everything he ever lived for was gone.
He might not have cried that much. If he hadn't just buried his wife and only son, he might not have cried that much. If he hadn't been the driver and only survivor of the accident, he might not have cried that much. Maybe if he had not sent his dear daughter to Lasun, his shoe maker.

Dotun bends down to tie the weight around his leg. He had come prepared. No mistke is to be allowed this time.

This is not his first suicide attempt. The first time, The rope he had hung himself with broke just as he 'pushed the stool'.

The second time, his nosy neighbor, Baba Elebijo had rushed him to the hospital just after he had shot himself. The bullet narrowly missed his heart and all he had was a bruised rib cage.

At the third attempt, he downed s glass of shaving powder and had thrown it all up 3mins later

The fourth attempt made him believe that there were forces against him. Mama Tope from down the street's house had been burning and he had sneaked in quietly when everyone was too busy shouting 'ohhhh' and 'ahhhh' and 'oma seun ooo'. The whole house had burnt down to ashes, and he had had a beautiful sleep.

Dotun glances round for the last time. He is breathing faster and the air is very cold.He crosses over the railing, takes a deep breathe and jumps into the river. Just as he jumps, the weight he had tied round his leg breaks away.


Two unmarked policemen that were on patrol nearby sight him and jump in after him. They rescue him and say "you are hearby arrested in accordance to section 327 of the criminal code. You are hereby advised to keep quiet...'

" I ask for only one thing' Dotun cuts in, 'A death sentence'.

My Roommate.

Year 2000.
We were having dinner that day. The day popci announced that we would be moving to a new house. I was Happy. No, excited is the word. I wanted my room purple. Just like this one :):

Not like I got it though. Instead, i got a pink one. But that's not my story.

Year 2009.
I was watching a very interesting program. Mum came upstairs and said 'Do you remember Mrs Okikiola in church?'
Why is this woman disturbing me now?? I thought to myself.
'Yes' I replied. My eyes glued to the screen (and I really did not know the woman)
'Well she gave birth in London yesterday, after 20yrs of marriage'
'Ehen? Thank God' I had replied, my eyes not leaving the tv'
'Mr Folayeni's wife also gave birth yesterday' She said again.
Ok. Why these birth stories I asked in my mind?
'Eeya' I replied still watching my programme. I just wanted to be left alone.
'We are expecting another baby' she said at last.
And that did get my attention.
'You are joking' I said looking at her tummy. 'Be serious mum!' I begged.
'I'm serious' She said, looking really serious. 'I'm 5months pregnant already and I didn't even know'
'Praise God!' I exclaimed thinking she was joking. And I continued watching my programme.

After the programme, the reality of the news knocked me down.
Wait, I'm in 100level, and I'm about to have a sibling I was probably old enough to give birth to. I wouldn't be just me and my brother anymore, and most of all, if it was a girl, she would have to share my room.

Ok, i didn't like the last part. I was not happy about it. The thought of sharing my pink room was not pleasant. I was not happy.

Now.
My room mate turned out to be one hell of a pretty chick. She's funny, smart and fun. I have a new room mate, and she's cute!

Ben Adams.

I woke up that morning. It was a chilly but peaceful morning. I was home alone with my brother, we were on break from school. I picked my phone to do the usual thing 'Tweet'. I had a message from call centre. I opened it to read it, and it read: "Dear customer, You have just won #1 millon naira for playing the recharge and win promo, your batch number is G36. Call Mr Ben Adams on 080xxxxxxxx for futher details".
Goodness gracious me!!! I rubbed my face very well to ensure i was really holding my own phone, and that i was really awake and not dreaming. 'This is a bloody scam!!!' i screamed. My brother ran to my room 'whats wrong?' i showed him the message. 'its 419 jor! that bulk sms stuff he said, obviously shocked too'. I scrolled down to check if there was a number... and there it was 111. I could not believe my luck! The message was really from the network!! 'Lets call Ben Adams!!!' I screamed

'Welcome to naija network my name is Ben Adams, how can i help you??' His voice sounded so professional. This was real. He sounded too polished to be a scammer. This was too good to be true!

'Good morning, i got a message about winning something, and i was asked to call you' i answered holding my breathe.

'ok, was there a batch number in the message madam?' he even called me madam, professionally.

'yes, yes there was'

'ok, pls give it to me madam'

'G36' i answered quickly

'ok. Pls madam, can you call me back in 2mins, i need to check if your name is on the list'

'sure, sure'

2 minutes later, no i didn't want to look TOO desperate... so i added 2 more minutes.

'Thanks for calling back madam, i am happy to inform you that you have won #1 millon' i could hear the smile in his warm voice.
Calm down, calm down, i told my self. Don't sound too excited! i tried to caution myself

'are you serious?' i asked calmly

'yes madam' he answered with a smile in his voice

'wow thanks' i said

'you welcome ma. You would have to send #1000 credit with your batch number in a text message so we can register you ma' he continued.
 I frowned. Why was he asking for credit?? I had been warned against fraudster asking for account numbers. Oh well he wasn't asking for my account number. This had to be real.

I sent the credit and called him back.

'Welcome back ma. Pls you have to send the following information: Name, Next of kin, Occupation and Bank. Pls madam do not send you account no he emphasised'. I was super happy! No account no? This is definitely real!
I thought to myself, i woke up penniless, but now i'm a millionaire. How great!

Then something struck me. Call the customer care yourself to find out how real this is. I told my brother, and he agreed. We called them.

'Welcome to naija network, how can i help you?' A lady answered. I told her what the problem was and she laughed.

'Call centre never sends messages. And if you are a winner, we call, not ask you to call. Be careful madam'

I dropped the call and stared at the list of things i had planned to do with the money;

1. Tithe - #100000
2. New blackberry- #90000
3. Shopping- #200000
4. Femi(my brother)- #100000
5. Give rest to popci to keep.

May you never succeed Ben Adams, for taking my #1000 credit.



PS: This really happened to me.

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